pagi ni sya buka Fb...ramai org in a relationship with....hmm... sya pun mau juga.... teringin ba... huhu... tp yala kan.. sapa la yg mau sya ni... sudah la nda cantik.. nda perfect lg... hmm... bf yg sya syg pun x dapat terima sya.... so, lebih baik sya jd single.... tp... sometime.... mcm mau juga ni ba ada someone.... layakkah sya ada bf? besinta pun x pndai... kuat mrajuk lg... hmm... xpa la... mau abis study sdh juga ni.... mgkn kalo sya p tempat lain sdh jumpa la kali... hmm...nda tau la... sya rasa mcm tawar hati sdh... tp ntah knapa sya rasa teringin juga... buduh ba sya ni kan? hmm.... biarla...
skrg sya mau senyum saja... sbb mcm susah sdh mau senyum ni... hati sya betul2 terluka ba... sakittt jauh di dalam.... hmmm...
Tuhan.... terima kasih utk segalanya... sya harap sya akan lebih gembira slpas ini... AMEN....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
God... i don't feel regret... i just feel a bit guilty, for hurting his heart... God.. why am I being so cruel? i can feel that this is not me.... Patricia whom You love so much is not a kind of person like this... i know myself well... God....... i'm so sorry for having that bad feeling toward him... i don't to actually, but... sya x dapat terima...mcm sya kena kc bodoh2 ja.... sya sedar sya mcm mana...sya sedar.... hmm.... betul2 sudah tawar.........................sangat tawar..... sya mcm trauma sdh mau suka org.... hmm.... God, heal me.. :(
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
PERUBAHAN YANG X DISANGKA.....
17/08/2010...TARIKH ITU BENAR2 TELAH BAGI SUATU SEJARAH DALAM HIDUP SYA YG X AKAN PERNAH SYA LUPAKAN BUAT SEUMUR HIDUP SYA....PERUBAHAN YG X PERNAH SYA JANGKA AKAN BERLAKU SEAWAL INI.....EMM...I'VE FOUND MY FIRST....AND I HOPE THAT HE WILL BE MY LAST...HOPEFULLY, GOD WILLS......EMM....SLPAS TERLALU BYK DUGAAN YG DIHADAPI, AKHIRNYA TERMETERAI JUGA.....EMM....SEOGA TUHAN AKAN SENTIASA MENYERTAI KAMI DALAM PERJALANAN HIDUP KAMI....SEMOGA KASIH SAYANG YG SEDANG HADIR D HATI INI AKAN BERTAMBAH FROM TIME TO TIME....N SYA HARAP DIA AKAN DAPAT TERIMA SYA SEADANYA..... THANKS FOR EVERYTHING MY GOD....U REALLY SHOW ME YOUR GREATEST LOVE TO ME...AMEN....
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
sipiking....
Hari ni sya rasa mcm sya mau spiking laa....hehe lama sdh sya nda spiking ni...hehee....
Ok, what i want to share today aa??ok, firstly about the unexpected thing happened this morning....it is not really a very big thing but i just want to release all ‘burdens’ (i guess) in my heart, and in my thought.....today, at exactly 12:53 pm,’ The Menatang’ (i used to call him with this name to protect his actual identity..aisehh..haha) added me in Facebook...i just received the alert message from Facebook since i activated my Celcom Facebook SMS...apuuuu!!! my heart was very2 shocked when i saw in my cellphone “........(his name) has added you as friend in Facebook.” Uinaaaa???? Aishhh finally....he added me himself....instead i added him, he added me first...hahaha....same as in Friendster last time, he was the one who added me first, not me!!! Haha....but i still wondering, what is that actually in his mind that make him suddenly add me uh? Emm....i’m still thinking about it, and till now, i still hasn’t approve him yet....hehehe....actually i afraid...that he will hack me, he will comment my posts, my statuses and my photos with bad and irritating words.....emmmm...i afraid it will happen....aduii....what a negative thinking of me, right? Maybe....he only wanted to befriend and reconnect (again) with me....maybe...just maybe....i’m still wondering.... God, please....show me the truth.....don’t let me regret when i already approve him....AMEN...
Next, it is about ‘The Guy’.....he is my friend, my new boy friend here....boy friend, not that boyfriend@lover yea.....hehehee.....i’m still single ba ni...hahaha....i don’t know whether i only ‘perasan’ or not, but i can feel that he likes me.....based on how he treat me, what he said to me....aishh crazy aeh....but i really don’t want it to be true.....arrrggghhhh....mampui oo if it’s really happen!!!! I don’t it , i really don’t want it to happen.....i don’t like him, and i hope that he won’t feel anything special towards me... but.... why he seems like to sit, to hang out and to be close with me??someone please answer me!!!! Many of our friends said that he like me, but is it really true??oh God...please don’t let it be.... Sin Jie said that, when we sit together, he always want to take the chance to hold my hands, tarik my hair all....what is that means?? Is it means that he only want my body and not my heart?? Maybe...yea, maybe there’s a truth of it.....i need to think and analyse this thing deeply.....but.... although maybe later he propose me or what, i won’t accept him....yea, i won’t accept him...coz i can feel that he is not the one who can make me happy, who can make me feel secured when i’m with him.....frankly, SYA BETUL2 TAKUT BILA DGN DIA....dia macam lembut tapi ada kalanya, dia seperti seorg lelaki yg ganas, yg mahukan sesuatu daripada seorg ppuan.....persoalannya, benarkah apa yg sya terasa tentang dia tu?? Yang kununnya dia tu suka sya.....hahahaha..nonsense laaa.....dia x mungkin suka sya.....sya yg x sempurna n x cantik ni dia mau suka???huh kirim salam aja la...tapi sya tetap mau ckp, sya comel baa.....walaupun da cantik...ekekeeke.....nah tinguk ter-keluar sdh BM sya dii....aiyah, nda buli ni tau, nda sdh sya fasih berbahasa English oo....tunggang terbalik sdh grammar sya, mau buat karangan pun cm kura2 n siput babi saja...nasib baik la babi tu sadap...hahahahhaha......tapi nda apa la, soro po.....daripada xda tercakap langsung, buli lg menghantam kalo kna tnya lecturer.....hahahaa.....emm back to story, biarlah The Guy tu...nda mau lg sya fikir pasal dia...x penting juga...kalo benar dia ada perasaan sma sya, xpa...x salah juga ba....tapi sya x akan terima dia.....my heart is not for him...he won’t be my first boyfriend....hahaaha....
Huh.....panjang betul sdh cerita sya ni....pnat sdh sya bercerita...hahaha.....nanti lg la sya cerita lagi...hehe....oyaaa....hehehehhehehe...sya betul2 bertuah sbb ada abg yg hensem!!!hahahahahhhahaa
Tuhan.....tolong kuatkan imanku...kuatkan hatiku agar ia terus teguh.....AMEN...
Ok, what i want to share today aa??ok, firstly about the unexpected thing happened this morning....it is not really a very big thing but i just want to release all ‘burdens’ (i guess) in my heart, and in my thought.....today, at exactly 12:53 pm,’ The Menatang’ (i used to call him with this name to protect his actual identity..aisehh..haha) added me in Facebook...i just received the alert message from Facebook since i activated my Celcom Facebook SMS...apuuuu!!! my heart was very2 shocked when i saw in my cellphone “........(his name) has added you as friend in Facebook.” Uinaaaa???? Aishhh finally....he added me himself....instead i added him, he added me first...hahaha....same as in Friendster last time, he was the one who added me first, not me!!! Haha....but i still wondering, what is that actually in his mind that make him suddenly add me uh? Emm....i’m still thinking about it, and till now, i still hasn’t approve him yet....hehehe....actually i afraid...that he will hack me, he will comment my posts, my statuses and my photos with bad and irritating words.....emmmm...i afraid it will happen....aduii....what a negative thinking of me, right? Maybe....he only wanted to befriend and reconnect (again) with me....maybe...just maybe....i’m still wondering.... God, please....show me the truth.....don’t let me regret when i already approve him....AMEN...
Next, it is about ‘The Guy’.....he is my friend, my new boy friend here....boy friend, not that boyfriend@lover yea.....hehehee.....i’m still single ba ni...hahaha....i don’t know whether i only ‘perasan’ or not, but i can feel that he likes me.....based on how he treat me, what he said to me....aishh crazy aeh....but i really don’t want it to be true.....arrrggghhhh....mampui oo if it’s really happen!!!! I don’t it , i really don’t want it to happen.....i don’t like him, and i hope that he won’t feel anything special towards me... but.... why he seems like to sit, to hang out and to be close with me??someone please answer me!!!! Many of our friends said that he like me, but is it really true??oh God...please don’t let it be.... Sin Jie said that, when we sit together, he always want to take the chance to hold my hands, tarik my hair all....what is that means?? Is it means that he only want my body and not my heart?? Maybe...yea, maybe there’s a truth of it.....i need to think and analyse this thing deeply.....but.... although maybe later he propose me or what, i won’t accept him....yea, i won’t accept him...coz i can feel that he is not the one who can make me happy, who can make me feel secured when i’m with him.....frankly, SYA BETUL2 TAKUT BILA DGN DIA....dia macam lembut tapi ada kalanya, dia seperti seorg lelaki yg ganas, yg mahukan sesuatu daripada seorg ppuan.....persoalannya, benarkah apa yg sya terasa tentang dia tu?? Yang kununnya dia tu suka sya.....hahahaha..nonsense laaa.....dia x mungkin suka sya.....sya yg x sempurna n x cantik ni dia mau suka???huh kirim salam aja la...tapi sya tetap mau ckp, sya comel baa.....walaupun da cantik...ekekeeke.....nah tinguk ter-keluar sdh BM sya dii....aiyah, nda buli ni tau, nda sdh sya fasih berbahasa English oo....tunggang terbalik sdh grammar sya, mau buat karangan pun cm kura2 n siput babi saja...nasib baik la babi tu sadap...hahahahhaha......tapi nda apa la, soro po.....daripada xda tercakap langsung, buli lg menghantam kalo kna tnya lecturer.....hahahaa.....emm back to story, biarlah The Guy tu...nda mau lg sya fikir pasal dia...x penting juga...kalo benar dia ada perasaan sma sya, xpa...x salah juga ba....tapi sya x akan terima dia.....my heart is not for him...he won’t be my first boyfriend....hahaaha....
Huh.....panjang betul sdh cerita sya ni....pnat sdh sya bercerita...hahaha.....nanti lg la sya cerita lagi...hehe....oyaaa....hehehehhehehe...sya betul2 bertuah sbb ada abg yg hensem!!!hahahahahhhahaa
Tuhan.....tolong kuatkan imanku...kuatkan hatiku agar ia terus teguh.....AMEN...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
RESULTKU..... hehehe
Emmm....hari ni masuk seminggu sdh syabalik penang slpas bercuti lbh kurg sebulan.....hmmm setakat ni blum lg ada apa2 assignment....baru minggu pertama kan, blum lg tau tu next week yo....huish mesti byk assignment tu...hmmm....malas o sya kalo banyak yo ni....haish....tapi kalo dgr dr kata2 lecturers nampaknya begitu la ni...huhuhu....kuroyon po be...mimang begitu no bogia kalo sdh masuk sem2 yo....hee terimala ja la Pat....hmm....
Nah kmi masuk2 ja semester 3 ni trus ada result semester 2 dipaparkan d student center d Waziria.....wuhuhu....tapi bgs jg ba, bila awal result kluar awal juga la kluar duit nt....hehehe....kali ni sya kena betul2 berjimat, kena bajet betul2 sdh sbb byk betul keperluan utk sem3 ni....yg paling utama ialah, beli tiket kapal balik sabah nt..hehe...sdh kami kna kc tgk takwim akademik utk sem3 ni....cun2 1-11-2010 kmi punya cuti....sampai 20-11-2010 kalo nda silap sya....huhuhu 3 minggu ja...bukan itu ba yg menyedihkan....yg plg menyedihkan itu ialah, XDAPAT BERKRISMAS DGN FAMILY tahun ni......hmm..nampaknya tahun ni berkrismas d Penang aja la ni....huhuhu...xpa la, tahan ja la Pat.....(padahal nangis2 sdh ni..huhu)....aiyoo terlupa pula sya dgn apa sebenarnya yg sya mau tulis ni..aish tu no gia melalut nopo karaja..hehehe....bah, sbnrnya sya mau ckp pasal result sem2 sya ba ni....happy betul ni sya...walaupun bukan yg terbaik or tertinggi, tp at least sya sdh mencapai target sya utk sem2..iaitu, mau dapat lebih drpd 3.75 n kc kalah tu org....n thanks God!!! Betul2 dapat oo....hehehe...sem ni sya betul2 meningkat..naik 0.10 woo...hehe..sya happy tapi ada keciwa ckit la sbb sya pnya CGPA x mencapai 3.80....dakat sdh ba, 0.02 ja lg....huhuhu.....emm tapi xpa la sem ni kena struggle lebih lg....harapan bapa yg tercinta tu...hehe....ok ckp pasal result sya....hmmmmmmmmmmmm......sya dapat 4 A, 2 A- dan 1 B menghasilkan 3.83!!!! yeahoo.....hehehe....Medical emergency tu ja ba yg spoil. Kalo nda A dan A- ja keputusan sya tu..haish....tapi nda pa la, apa2 pun sya sngt2 bersyukur pada Tuhan!!! TERIMA KASIH TUHAN!!!! AKU SAYANG DAN CINTA PADAMU!!! WO AI NI!!!!I LOVE U!!SARANG HAE YO!!! AI SHI TAE RU!! UPUS OKU DIAH OI TUHAN KOGINAWAANKU!!! Heheheehehee.......nah Tuhan, happy betul sdh anak Kau ni....hehehhe...mcm tu aja, tapi sya memang betul2 happy..sya happy bukan saja sbb result sya, tapi juga sbb Tuhan dgr doa2 sya...skrg sya betul2 yakin Dia benar2 sayang dan cinta akan sya..I REALLY LOVE YOU, MY GOD!!!hehehe......sabar ko Pat....Tuhan sdh jawab tu...dia bilang “ I LOVE YOU MORE MY DEAR CHLID!!!!” eehehehehehe.....(^_______________^)
GOD, THANK U FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE GAVE ME.....THANKS FOR THE RESULT, THANKS FOR THE HAPPINESS....I REALLY APPRECIATE THEM...DO OPEN MY EYES, MY MIND AND MY HEART WIDER SO THAT I CAN DO BETTER AND FULFILL MY FATHER’S HOPE ON ME.....I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT I DON’T WANT TO DISAPPOINT HIM....YA TUHAN, PERTINGKATKAN LAH USAHA KU SUPAYA AKU DAPAT MENCAPAI CITA2 KU DAN HARAPAN BAPAKU...AMEN!!! (^_^)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
tHe maKeOver....
Before.......
After....
Hehehehehe.....mcm ni la rupa kalo org yg x pernah bersolek tiba2 disolek....hehehehe pelik nopo itu wajah....hahaha tapi orgnya tetap sama, PATRICIA juga....hehehe (^____^)
After....
Hehehehehe.....mcm ni la rupa kalo org yg x pernah bersolek tiba2 disolek....hehehehe pelik nopo itu wajah....hahaha tapi orgnya tetap sama, PATRICIA juga....hehehe (^____^)pRopOsAL....
emm...mau dkat jam 3 pagi sdh tapi sya masih x tdo2 lg....aish...amu oku kodop boo ti...men facebook pun boring...tgh2 subuh mcm ni tersangatlaa boring, sdh la x ramai org chat, benda yg mau dikomen pun xda....aishhh....mata pula xmau tdo....mau jg sya ambil Zoloft kut ini...hahaha jgn baa Pat..nda bagus moti itu....hehehe.... Dalam keboringan ini, meninguk la ba kunun sya msg2 sya d hp.....emm....blum lg sya padam msg c Spongy ari tu.....hmm....nda tau la mau c jadi apa ni, mau c jadi gimat mangkali..hehe.....fikir balik ttg apa yg dia ckp ari tu....mmm btul2 x sangka oo dia msh x berputus asa lg.....ini sdh masuk 3 kali sya reject dia secara baik....tapi dia masih x mau give up..malahan kali ni dia betul2 mau propose sya utk jadi gf dia.....huhuhhuhuhuhu....hampir jg iman sya goyah dgn proposal itu tapi nasib baik Roh Kudus masih kuatkan hati dan iman sya....AMEN!!! hmm....dia memg baik, sangat2 baik.....blh dikatakan dia agak memenuhi segala kriteria yg sya mau dlm diri lelaki idaman sya.....sya tau dia blh terima sya seadanya, terima segala kekurangan sya....cuma satu aja yg buat sya x dapat terima dia.....HE IS A MUSLIM....hmm....sya bukan anti-Muslim, tapi sya memg x mau terima kalo dia adalah seorg Muslim....kalo saja dia seorg Kristian, memg confirm sya akan terima dia...maybe sdh sya tukar status ni skrg....hehehe.....sayang betul oo....tapi xpa la....maybe bukan jodoh kami.....kalo bukan dgn dia pun ramai lagi lelaki d dunia ni baa...sya yakin n pasti, Tuhan pasti sdh ciptakan seseorg utk sya....yg sesuai dgn sya, yg boleh terima sya seadanya, n yg paling penting ialah, dia adalah seorg Kristian, seorg pengikut Yesus....(^_^) ya, sya yakin dgn Bapa...!!!
hmm....tapi sebagai kenang2an spya len kali sya blh baca lg, sya post la juga conversation kmi tu...hehheehe :
SPONGY: Tricia, i thought to tell u something but i don't know whether i have the courage.
PAT: Uik???apa itu??hmm this's what make my curiousity trigerred suddenly..hehe
SPONGY: Err err are u sure wanna know abt it?huhu hw shud i put it yeah.....='(
PAT: Ya, i do want...but it's up to u whether u want to tell me or not..i won't force u..it's ur right..=)
SPONGY: Emm....emm...
PAT: Hmm....mesti kamu nak bgtau yg sya comel ni kan tapi kmu malu2 lg....hahahhahaahahahaha....(perasan betol)
SPONGY: Bkn Tricia, tapi yae, kmu memang comel.... (uinaaa kambang trus sya time ni...hehehe)
PAT: Hehe thank u..thank u... tapi...apa yg susah sgt nak bgtau sya tu?curiga betul....
SPONGY: Emm.... Is t rite if i say "I LOVE YOU" ?? And i mean it....
duinaaaa time sya dpt ni msg terus berdegup kencang ni jantung sya....sya betul2 terkejut, mcm kena kejutan electric ni.....huish....bkn x pnah ada org kc luah mcm tu sama sya, tapi...ini mcm betul2 serius baa....kin takut ni...uish....then sya jawab cmni...
PAT: Hehe..knpa tiba2 pla ni? kmu bergurau yea? hehe...
SPONGY: If i said i am serious?
PAT: Hehe jgn ba..kmu ni memg suka kenakan sya...hehe
SPONGY: Haish Tricia nie, hehe lulus ujian..=P
Uik??huh....sya xtau apa maksud 'ujian' yg dia maksudkan itu, sbb sya tnya pun dia xmau jawab...tapi sya x kisah jg, sbb sya happy dia men2 aja....tapi jauh d dalam hati sya kata yg dia memg serius....tapi sya x juga perasan la, sya tau jg sya ni mcm mana...mana ada org sgup suka sya ni..hmm...seterusnya...
PAT: Ujian apa?? oo kmu memg sengaja kenakan sya yea...huhu
SPONGY: Jika sya serius pun, Tricia akan kata sya men2..kn?
PAT: Ya.. sbb sya tau sya mcm mana...i'm not deserved to get the words from a gud guy like u..
ya memg itu la yg sya rasa....sya x layak utk terima ayat itu dr seorg lelaki yg baik dan sempurna seperti dia....hmm...then dia jawab.....
SPONGY: Eh, ke situ pula...u deserve better, Tricia...jgn merendah diri sgt yae...kmu lbh dr apa yg kmu sangkakan....no doubt, that's the truth....
woo....terharu jg la sya bila dia kata mcm tu....tapi sya tetap x dapat terima dia....lpas tu dia propose sya.....sya reject dia dgn cara baik dgn mengatakan " i'm sorry for declining ur proposal to become more than a friend to u, but i just don't want to let anybody hurt, neither me nor u...sya syg kmu, kmu kwn sya....plus, i also love myself...jd sya x nak ada antara kita yg akan terluka nt... Lgpun sya jenis yg tetp, kalo dah mula sesuatu, susah nak akhiri...rasanya kmu jg begitu kan? Sya minta maaf, but there's a boundary between us...except for friendship, it's free from all that.. But, this is different case,,,, Just if u are.........maybe i will accept u..once again, i'm sorry....=(" Wooo panjang lebar ayat sya kalo mau reject org....hehe...sya bkn apa, sbnarnya sya takut dia mrh dgn sya, then bt apa2 yg x bgs....lgpun sya syg persahabatan kmi.....tapi syukurlaa....dia x ambil hati...dia masih blh trma sya sbg kwn dia lg, siap jadikan sya adik angkat lg tu....hehe....sya tau dia kecewa, tapi apa blh buat...sya x sanggup korbankan cinta sya pd Tuhan Yesus semata2 krna cinta dia....sya xmau jadi org kedua yg bt mama n bapa susah hati....hmm....
Masa perkara ini berlaku, sya ada rasa sedikit kecewa jg....sbb sya dapat rasakan hati sya ada perasaan ckit sma dia...tapi x la smpai frust menonggeng....hehehehhe..... tapi apa2pun sya bersyukur jg....sbb cinta Yesus dan bimbingan Roh Kudus mengatasi segala2nya.....sya harap
jika ada lagi 'dugaan' seperti ini terjadi pd sya, Roh Kudus x akan tglkan sya....=)
GOD, thanks for everything.....thanks for the strength u gave to my heart, that i could resist the temptation....i'm very proud to be declared as Your daughter.....i was born belong to You, and hence i will end my life in Your name....ALLAH BAPA, biarlah segalanya berlaku mengikut kehendakmu, bukan kehendakku....AMEN!!!....
hmm....tapi sebagai kenang2an spya len kali sya blh baca lg, sya post la juga conversation kmi tu...hehheehe :
SPONGY: Tricia, i thought to tell u something but i don't know whether i have the courage.
PAT: Uik???apa itu??hmm this's what make my curiousity trigerred suddenly..hehe
SPONGY: Err err are u sure wanna know abt it?huhu hw shud i put it yeah.....='(
PAT: Ya, i do want...but it's up to u whether u want to tell me or not..i won't force u..it's ur right..=)
SPONGY: Emm....emm...
PAT: Hmm....mesti kamu nak bgtau yg sya comel ni kan tapi kmu malu2 lg....hahahhahaahahahaha....(perasan betol)
SPONGY: Bkn Tricia, tapi yae, kmu memang comel.... (uinaaa kambang trus sya time ni...hehehe)
PAT: Hehe thank u..thank u... tapi...apa yg susah sgt nak bgtau sya tu?curiga betul....
SPONGY: Emm.... Is t rite if i say "I LOVE YOU" ?? And i mean it....
duinaaaa time sya dpt ni msg terus berdegup kencang ni jantung sya....sya betul2 terkejut, mcm kena kejutan electric ni.....huish....bkn x pnah ada org kc luah mcm tu sama sya, tapi...ini mcm betul2 serius baa....kin takut ni...uish....then sya jawab cmni...
PAT: Hehe..knpa tiba2 pla ni? kmu bergurau yea? hehe...
SPONGY: If i said i am serious?
PAT: Hehe jgn ba..kmu ni memg suka kenakan sya...hehe
SPONGY: Haish Tricia nie, hehe lulus ujian..=P
Uik??huh....sya xtau apa maksud 'ujian' yg dia maksudkan itu, sbb sya tnya pun dia xmau jawab...tapi sya x kisah jg, sbb sya happy dia men2 aja....tapi jauh d dalam hati sya kata yg dia memg serius....tapi sya x juga perasan la, sya tau jg sya ni mcm mana...mana ada org sgup suka sya ni..hmm...seterusnya...
PAT: Ujian apa?? oo kmu memg sengaja kenakan sya yea...huhu
SPONGY: Jika sya serius pun, Tricia akan kata sya men2..kn?
PAT: Ya.. sbb sya tau sya mcm mana...i'm not deserved to get the words from a gud guy like u..
ya memg itu la yg sya rasa....sya x layak utk terima ayat itu dr seorg lelaki yg baik dan sempurna seperti dia....hmm...then dia jawab.....
SPONGY: Eh, ke situ pula...u deserve better, Tricia...jgn merendah diri sgt yae...kmu lbh dr apa yg kmu sangkakan....no doubt, that's the truth....
woo....terharu jg la sya bila dia kata mcm tu....tapi sya tetap x dapat terima dia....lpas tu dia propose sya.....sya reject dia dgn cara baik dgn mengatakan " i'm sorry for declining ur proposal to become more than a friend to u, but i just don't want to let anybody hurt, neither me nor u...sya syg kmu, kmu kwn sya....plus, i also love myself...jd sya x nak ada antara kita yg akan terluka nt... Lgpun sya jenis yg tetp, kalo dah mula sesuatu, susah nak akhiri...rasanya kmu jg begitu kan? Sya minta maaf, but there's a boundary between us...except for friendship, it's free from all that.. But, this is different case,,,, Just if u are.........maybe i will accept u..once again, i'm sorry....=(" Wooo panjang lebar ayat sya kalo mau reject org....hehe...sya bkn apa, sbnarnya sya takut dia mrh dgn sya, then bt apa2 yg x bgs....lgpun sya syg persahabatan kmi.....tapi syukurlaa....dia x ambil hati...dia masih blh trma sya sbg kwn dia lg, siap jadikan sya adik angkat lg tu....hehe....sya tau dia kecewa, tapi apa blh buat...sya x sanggup korbankan cinta sya pd Tuhan Yesus semata2 krna cinta dia....sya xmau jadi org kedua yg bt mama n bapa susah hati....hmm....
Masa perkara ini berlaku, sya ada rasa sedikit kecewa jg....sbb sya dapat rasakan hati sya ada perasaan ckit sma dia...tapi x la smpai frust menonggeng....hehehehhe..... tapi apa2pun sya bersyukur jg....sbb cinta Yesus dan bimbingan Roh Kudus mengatasi segala2nya.....sya harap
jika ada lagi 'dugaan' seperti ini terjadi pd sya, Roh Kudus x akan tglkan sya....=)
GOD, thanks for everything.....thanks for the strength u gave to my heart, that i could resist the temptation....i'm very proud to be declared as Your daughter.....i was born belong to You, and hence i will end my life in Your name....ALLAH BAPA, biarlah segalanya berlaku mengikut kehendakmu, bukan kehendakku....AMEN!!!....
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